The English Project
by thelastweasley
Summary: Slash...RaceJack. Race starts a journal, and soon after finds out some interesting things about himself....
1. My First Entry

Disclaimer: I don't own Race, or any other newsies. If I did, that movie would be so much more interesting. ;)  
  
4/19/04  
  
Uh.....hi. This is really weird. I am really not the type of guy to keep a journal/diary/whatever, but we're required to do it for English class. Thank god my teacher's not reading them. Of course, I could just make up a bunch of bullshit for it, but my mom wants me to actually do this. She says it'd be "good for me". *sigh* Mothers.  
  
Oh god, this is hard. I'm not the type of guy who likes to discuss "feelings" and "emotions" and all that happy crap. But hey, gotta start somewhere. Well, first off, my name is Anthony "Racetrack" Higgins, and I'm 16 years old. I live in Los Angeles, California, and I go to Roosevelt High School. It's a pretty big school, which is good, since I was able to find a bunch of friends amidst all the dumbasses here. I just moved here last year.  
  
My friends? Well, it's a pretty big group, I guess, but the people I mainly hang out with, my best friends, are Jack Kelly, Dan "Spot" Turner, Ben "Mush" Lohman, Zach "Kid Blink" Girard, Devon "Specs" Marvin, and Bob "Skittery" Vine. But don't ever call us by our real names. We'll definitely soak ya. I mainly consider Jack to be my "best" friend. After all, he lives right next door, and he was the first person I ever became friends with in this town. But even so, all my friends are awesome. Everyone else in our class pretty much sucks. Oh well. I don't need anyone else.  
  
Now onto my family. Well, there's my mom, who can be a little tiny bit over- protective, but she's cool. My dad's the funny guy in the family. You name any situation, and he'll make it a game. My younger sister, Morgan, is 9, and thinks she knows everything. And I mean everything! She's a real pain- in-the-butt. But that's the whole point of little sisters, isn't it? I used to have a brother...Jake. He was the best. But he died three years ago in a car accident, at age 10. I still think about him a lot, and what he'd be like today, if he were still alive. God, he was such a great kid. Aw, shit, my mom's calling me for supper. More later, maybe. ************************************************  
  
Waahh.....I know, it sucks, but that was just an intro! Don't kill me, it's the first fan-fiction I've ever written! Gah! More sometime within the next couple days. 


	2. The Big Surprise

4/20/04  
  
Hey. All right, maybe this whole journal thing isn't too bad! I was actually kind of anxious to write in this thing today. Maybe it's just because of the day I had....but I'll get into the crazy stuff later. For now, I guess I'll say more about myself.  
  
I'm short, compared to all my friends. They always tease me about that. I'm Italian...my Grandparents moved to America when they had my mom, and my mom moved to LA from New York a few years before I was born. I do okay in school. Not as good as some of my friends, but I get by. My favorite subject? You guessed it, lunch! I love going to the cafeteria and just relaxing and hanging out with Jack...he's the only one of my friends in my lunch. But that's okay. I like chorus, too, except for my teacher, Miss. Toner, is always buggin' me about my vowels. "Use tall vowels, Tony!" Oy! But that's all right. I love singing.  
  
All right, I can't stop thinking about what happened today. I gotta let this out! Jack, Spot, Specs, Kid Blink, Skittery and I were all hanging out after school, and somehow we got on the subject of girlfriends, and Specs started talking about how he thought all girls were stuck-up and bitchy. So Jack said, "So you're just gonna get a girl for sex? Sounds all right to me!" Jack flashed his famous, wise-ass smirk, and all of us were laughing.  
  
"Well, maybe I don't want a girl at all..." He paused for a minute, looking kind of nervous. After a minute, he took a deep breath and continued. "I have what I need, right here." He points to Kid Blink.  
  
Kid Blink spoke up. "Guys, we should tell you something. We're, uh...gay."  
  
"You're what?" Jack and I asked together. You should've seen the looks on our faces! We didn't believe them.  
  
"We're gay. And we're going out....right Specs?" Specs nodded and took Blink's hand.  
  
"You two don't have a problem with it do ya, Race? Jack?" Blink asked, threateningly.  
  
"Uh..."  
  
"Well...."  
  
"I guess....uh..."  
  
"If that's how..."  
  
Jack and I couldn't really formulate a sentence, we were so shocked.  
  
I was confused...."What about all those girlfriends you've had, Specs? I don't get it."  
  
"Race, I just didn't know it. Notice how I haven't had a girlfriend since last year? I just thought I wasn't finding the right girl, but then I realized what I wanted was right in our little circle of friends all along." Specs smiled at Kid Blink. Skittery, who had been quiet for quite some time, finally spoke up. "Well, I don't see anything wrong with that, guys. I fully respect your decision, and my opinion of you hasn't changed."  
  
"Thanks, Skitts", said Kid Blink.  
  
"Yeah, same here, I guess." added Spot.  
  
"All right, well Specs and I have got to hit the road. We gotta get back to Blink's house before his mom gets home! We've got some....studying to do!" Specs winked at Kid Blink and they took off.  
  
I just stood there, kind of in shock, while Jack turned to Spot and Skittery.  
  
"How can you guys be so cool about this? We just found out that two of our best friends are totally not who we thought they were!"  
  
Skittery spoke up, sounding a little annoyed. "Jesus, Jack! They're still the same people you thought they were five minutes ago! The only difference is them not liking girls. Big freakin' deal!" Jack looked around, trying to think of a good comeback, and finally just looked at me.  
  
"Race....you haven't said anything...don't you think they're being a little too calm about this?"  
  
"Uh, well, I dunno...um...I guess?" I just didn't really know what to make of the whole situation.  
  
"All right, fine. Whatever. I don't care. Let's go, Race." Oh yeah...Jack drives me to and home from school every day, since we live next door to each other, and he has a car. I'm so jealous. I want a car, but my parents won't buy me one until I get into college. Damn. We walked to the car in silence, and when we got in, Jack put on some music, and started driving.  
  
"Jack, are you mad?" I asked.  
  
"I guess not...it's just...why would they keep that from us for so long? I wonder how long they've been going behind our backs for." I thought for a minute, and then said, "Maybe they were scared of how we'd react." We pulled into my driveway, and I got out.  
  
"See ya, Race."  
  
"Later." When I told my mom that Specs and Blink were gay (I tell my mom a lot), she said "Uh, I know!"  
  
"Huh? How do you know?!"  
  
She rolled her eyes at me. "Come on, honey! Have you seen them together? They're inseparable! Not to mention they're all over each other! Now go on and do your homework before supper!" Then I went upstairs. How do mothers know everything? Seriously! Anyways, I guess this whole thing doesn't bother me that much...it's just weird. I mean, I've gone my whole life thinking the normal thing to do is just like girls. How can you...never mind! I don't know. It doesn't really concern me....  
  
All right, better do my homework. I have another mountain of it! School sucks sometimes.  
  
******************  
  
Yay! That chapter's all done! I'll get the next one soon...... Thanks for reviewing, guys! 


	3. The Fight

Sorry it took me so long to update! I'm such a procrastinator!!  
  
4/20/04  
  
Wow, I HATE people at my school. Well, not everyone. Just the stupid "popular" people. I want to kill every single one of them. I don't know how it happened, but somehow, everyone found out about Specs and Kid Blink. Whenever I was walking with one of them (which was a lot, since I'm in a lot of classes with them), you wouldn't believe all the snide comments and rude looks they gave them. It was insane. You'd think they'd never heard of gay people before. They pretty much quit when they saw the looks I was giving them, all except for one incident....  
  
I was on my way to study hall, the last period of the day with Specs, when we passed this dumbass on the football team, Tom Wilkins. When he spotted us, he stopped us and said to me, "Hey, you better watch out for this one," he pointed to Specs. "He could jump you at any second."  
  
Specs just rolled his eyes, but I said, "You better watch your mouth, asshole!"  
  
"Race, please, calm down. Don't start anything!" Specs pleaded.  
  
"Yeah, stop Higgins. //She// doesn't like violence."  
  
"I'm warning you, Wilkins, one more comment like that, and I'll kick your ass." I was trying sooo hard not to hit him.  
  
"What're you getting all worked up about, Higgins? Why should you care about some little faggot who can't fend for himself?"  
  
That was it. I couldn't hold back. Specs, shocked, stood there while I dove on Tom and started hitting him like there was no tomorrow. God, it felt good. That is, until Tom got over the shock that I had just jumped on him, and started hitting back. Soon, a huge group had crowded around us, cheering (for Tom, of course. Everyone loves that son of a bitch) while we were still goin' at it, punches flying everywhere. Finally, a teacher came out into the hall to see what all the noise was, and came right in and pulled me off of Tom. There was blood everywhere.  
  
"What's going on here?! What's the matter with you boys?!" It was my Global teacher, Mr. Pontmercy.  
  
"Mr. Pontmercy, I was just walking down the hall, and he just started punching me! I had to defend myself." said Tom, innocently, with a steady stream of blood dripping out of his nose.  
  
"BULLSHIT!" I shouted.  
  
"Watch your mouth Higgins, you're already in enough trouble!" bellowed Mr. Pontmercy. "I'm taking both of you to the office, right now."  
  
My principal is kind of scary, but thank god he's gay, so he understood why I hit first! (How can I tell? If you could see the way he dresses/talks, you'd understand.) Tom got 3 days more of detention than I did. I got two hours for tomorrow and the next day. Not too bad. After going to the nurse, since my lip was bleeding profusely, I went to the last 20 minutes of study hall, where I got bombarded with questions about what happened I must have told the story a million times. How obnoxious. But that's okay; everyone who wasn't friends with Tom was on my side. After school, when I met up with all the guys, I told all of them. And by that time, I had added a few little extra details to make me sound more heroic. Specs was looking at me weird through the whole thing. It was pretty funny.  
  
But the best thing about it was when Jack and I were in the car, driving home, and he said, "Hey, Race, I'm really glad you stood up for Specs like that. I acted like a jerk yesterday, and now I realize that Blink and Specs are two of my best friends, and always will be. They haven't changed at all.  
  
"Jesus, and I saw Wilkins after school, and he looked awful! He was a bloody mess. Nice work! Couldn't have done it better myself."  
  
"Hah! Got a pen? I need to write this down! Mr. Tough guy, Jack, just told me that //he// couldn't have beaten up someone better than me!"  
  
"Don't push it, Higgins, I'll take it right back!" he laughed.  
  
Yeah, so, despite my //huge// lip and my enormous headache I've got now, it was an awesome day. I bet no one will mess with Specs, Kid Blink, or me tomorrow. Hah!  
  
*********  
  
Hah, I wonder how long it'll take me to write the next chapter! Gah!  
  
Read and review!!!  
  
Sorry for making you wait, Dodger!! Lol. 


	4. Another Surprise

4/21/04  
  
I had a perfectly normal day...until I got out of school after detention. The teacher in charge of detention had a doctor's appointment, so I only had 45 minutes today. When I left the room, Jack was standing outside, waiting for me.  
  
"Oh, hey, Jack! What're you doing here?" I asked.  
  
"I uh....I got home and realized I forgot my math book, so I came back and I figured I should wait for ya, since I didn't really have anything else to do." Jack said, kind of nervously.  
  
"Hey, are you okay?" I asked.  
  
"Yeah, I'm okay. Let's go."  
  
I just shrugged, and we walked to his car. When we got in, I waited for a couple seconds, and then I realized that Jack wasn't starting the car – he was just sitting there, staring at the wheel, with a blank look on his face.  
  
"Hey! Earth to Jack! What are ya doin'? I'd like to be home before next Christmas!"  
  
"Racetrack?" He asked hesitantly. "Er....I gotta talk to you."  
  
*Oh, //great//*, I thought to myself. "What's the matter?" I asked.  
  
"All right, well, I'm only telling you this because I trust you, more than anyone else in our group of friends. We've been through a lot together, us living so close together and all, and even though I've only known you for a year, I feel like I can talk to you about anything."  
  
"Same here, Jack, but spit it out! You're makin' me nervous!"  
  
"Okay, well, remember how I was a little miffed about the whole Specs and Blink?" I nodded. "Well, the truth about that is that I was just scared."  
  
"Scared? What do you mean?"  
  
"Yeah. Um." He took a huge breath and continued. "I've been having this thing lately. It used to happen whenever a pretty girl walked by, or whenever I met up with one of my girlfriends. It was that feeling in the pit of my stomach...you know that funny feeling, right? Well, the thing is, uh, well.....that doesn't happen anymore. Well, not with girls. Lately....um....it's been happening when I see....guys."  
  
"So.....what you're saying is that you're....you're....you're...." I stammered.  
  
"I think I'm gay, Racetrack."  
  
"You're....you're...." I couldn't really formulate a sentence correctly.  
  
"GAY. I'm gay. Well, at least, I //think// I am. I still haven't fully figured it all yet. I need a little more time to think about it. I, uh, I'll understand if you don't wanna be friends with me anymore." I stared out the window, blankly. Jack waited a few seconds, looked up at me, and then looked away. "I understand. I guess you won't wanna hang around me anymore. I'm sorry, I just thought you'd understand and support me, since I thought you were my best friend. That's fine. I'll just take you home now...."  
  
"Jack, wait."  
  
"Yeah?" he asked, with a hint of hope in his voice. He looked at me, and for the first time, I noticed that when he looks at you, it feels like he's looking right through you...like he's reading your mind. Why hadn't I ever noticed that? I've never seen anyone with eyes like his. Those big, expressive, beaut....  
  
And that's when I realized that I'd just been staring at him for about 20 seconds without saying anything. *Snap out of it, dumbass*, I ordered myself. "I...uh...I..." I had completely forgotten what I was about to say. I finally remembered, and all I could say was, "Um....I don't know."  
  
"All right, Race. Just think about it. Take your time. It's not really that huge of a deal. And besides, it's not like I'm saying I like you, or anything."  
  
"WHAT?!" I cried, taken aback.  
  
"I don't! Calm down! That's what I'm sayin' – I don't!!  
  
"All right...uh, can we go home now?"  
  
"Yeah, sure." Jack sighed. He started the car, and we rode home in silence.  
  
When we got in my driveway, I was feeling a little guilty, so I said "Jack – look, I'm not saying I'm mad at you or anything. I just need time to sort things out. What would you do if I sprung something like this on you all of a sudden?"  
  
"Okay, I understand. I'll see you tomorrow, right?"  
  
"Yeah, alright. Later." I got out of the car and went inside my house. When I got in, my mom stopped me from going straight upstairs. I hate how mothers always know when something's wrong....  
  
"Hi, honey! What's wrong?" She asked, looking worried.  
  
"Nothing, mom, I'll be okay. I just need to think about things...."  
  
"All right, dear, but if you need to talk, you know where I am, okay?"  
  
"Thanks, mom. I'll be down for dinner." And with that, I went upstairs, into my room.  
  
And here I am.....god. Three friends have told me they're gay in three days. My life is insane. And I still can't get over what happened when Jack looked at me....something was different than usual. Maybe I was just imagining things....but...why did I get so caught up in his eyes? Gah....that's like, something a //gay// person would do. I'm not like that. At all.  
  
Aside from this, I've had this constant feeling lately. A feeling like things are about to change....or something big is gonna happen. But I don't know what, or when, for that matter. Well, I guess things have already begun to change, seeing as I just found out this stuff about my friends. But that's not it...it's something else....something different. Wow, I am making no sense. I'm probably just tired. Hah.  
  
Damn, the phone's for me. Gotta go.  
  
7:15pm  
  
My parents think there's something seriously wrong with me now....I was spacing out all through dinner. I'm just glad I didn't end up telling them everything, since my mom's really good at getting me to tell her things. Hah. But I wasn't really listening to her much. Or dad. I was just staring off into space, thinking.  
  
Oh yeah, the phone earlier. That was Spot. He made me feel horrible, but not intentionally. I feel awful for Jack now.  
  
After about 10 seconds of being on the phone with Spot, he said, "Did you notice anything unusual about Jack today?"  
  
"Uh....what do you mean?" I asked.  
  
"He was acting really weird in school today. You didn't notice?" he asked, surprised.  
  
"Oh...no, I didn't."  
  
"Are you kidding me? Oh, well, I guess you would know what I'm talking about if you were there after school at Skittery's locker. Jack was a nervous wreck! He was practically shaking, but he insisted he was fine. I figured you might know what's going on, since you talk to him more than we do."  
  
I felt horrible after that. It really made me think. Jack went through all that, just to get a really stand-offish reaction from me. I talked to Spot for a little while longer, and then I went over to the window, where I had a perfect view of Jack's front porch. And there he was, sitting on the steps, just staring off into space. And that's when I decided that I'm going to talk to him tomorrow morning before school about this whole thing. I don't know what I'm going to say yet, but I wanna let him know that I'm fine with him being gay. Even though I'm not really sure about it yet.  
  
All right, well, I better do my biology homework, since apparently, I'm failing that class. My mom says it's my whole attitude towards that class, but seriously, who cares about the organs of an earthworm? I don't.  
  
**********  
  
All righty, that's another chapter!  
  
Grr, I was going to have shoutouts, but I'm waaay too lazy right now. Psht! Oh well. Hope you guys like it so far.....time to REVIEW! :D 


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